I have had personal experience with someone in my family who battled mental illness. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 18. He passed away in 2008 from complications due to HepC. His battle waged war on his mother, his siblings, his daughter and everyone who knew him. He was volatile and down right scary at times. His mother took such good care of him and believe me, this wasn't easy. I didn't meet him until he was in his 30's. When he was younger there were fights, police at the house, visits to Rusk (a mental hospital in East Texas), violence, hospital visits and times when he would just go missing. I think those periods when he was gone were the hardest moments for his mother to handle because she didn't know whether he would come back home alive. He had a serious drug problem for a while and he abused alcohol as well most of his life until he became diabetic. He contracted Hepatitis C from IV drug use. I was very concerned for the well being of my children when we all were together. If he was taking his meds he was okay. But if he wasn't, the whole family would be on edge. If you have ever seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" you know what daily life looks like for someone living with schizophrenia. I thought that movie adequately showed glimpses of what life is like day to day for schizophrenics. On a positive note, I saw how much his mother loved him. Her love for him was truly an example of unconditional love. His siblings would be angry for all of the problems he caused himself and the family but his mother was never angry. She was always kind, gentle, understanding and she never gave up on him. She absolutely amazed me at times.
When he was in high school he was a great golfer and a talented writer. His success in life was very short lived. He was married for a short while and did have a daughter. His ex wife was unable to handle the eruptions in his behavior that became increasingly worse year after year. After his daughter got married, she did not want to have children because she was afraid of the possibility of passing this gene along to her children. I am happy to say she gave birth to twin boys about five years ago and they are both perfectly healthy and normal.
After his death, his mother became actively involved in the Mental Health Association of Texas. I learned through his life that although you cannot see a mental illness the repercussions are enormous for anyone who suffers from one. Mental illness sufferers are misunderstood, shunned, and often times estranged from their families.
Hi Cathy, it is a very sad story. I know that everybody has to have some kind of independence, but it is not the same for the people with the kind of debilitating condition as this. You want to help them and the only help you can give them is through control, which is probably the very thing they are trying to get away from. You are right about his mother, she sounds amazing!
ReplyDeleteHello Yelena,
DeleteYes, you are exactly right. His mom would work so hard to get him the things he needed and construct situations to be successful but he just was unable to do so. I think perceptions are improving with regards to mental health but still such a large stigma remains, I believe, because it is so difficult to talk about.
Thank you for writing.
~Cathy
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteMy blog was also about an individual that I knew who suffered from Schizophrenia. The two men had similar stories, unfortunately my friend's life ended at an earlier age due to drug use. It is upsetting to see those who are diagnosed with Schizophrenia cope with drugs and alcohol. Becoming involved in the Mental Health Association of Texas was the best thing his mother could do. Understanding Schizophrenia and other mental disorders can help those with the disease as well as those who know someone who has a mental disorder. It is unfortunate to see people with great potential become incapacitated by their illnesses. Hopefully a cure for Schizophrenia can be found. Best wishes to you and your friend's families.
~Rachel
Thank you Rachel! I will look forward to reading your blog!
DeleteYou are so right. I think that was another problem for him personally. His sister was an attorney and his brother an engineer. I know he felt inferior because I could see it in his eyes when he would try to talk to them about their jobs. I think more is being discovered about mental illness which leads to greater understanding. Still, I feel very thankful as a mother that I have not had to deal with these kinds of problems with my own kids. It is paralyzing for their families as well.
Thank you for responding!
~Cathy
Hello Cathy,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful example of a mother love is unconditional. I have never had an experience with someone that is suffering from mental illness but I can only imagine the strength it takes for an individual to stay in high spirits when a person they love slips away in there mind. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Hi Cathy, after reading your story I have a better understanding of the phrase" there is nothing like a Mother's love". While others may not have understood she loved her son and probably felt like she was his advocate. I too admire women who love their children through difficult times. Mental illness is a community disease one in which we all must do our part to help those in need.
ReplyDeleteStrength and courage,
Sandra Holman
I agree with you completely, a mental illness is not only hard on the individual that has it, but with the entire family as well; awareness should be made more readily for the family members so they can understand the complexity of the situation that the individual is going through. I also have someone in my family that is was suffering from a mental illness, but with treatment, she is now not suffering as bad and she seems a whole lot better.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job on your blog post. Schizophrenia is something that is very difficult to deal with. I am close with a family whose brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It is a difficult daily battle to maintain a good relationship with him. I agree that it is not only hard on the person that has the disease but it is hard on the whole family.
ReplyDeleteHi Cathy, I found your personal reflection on schizophrenia as a testomony to a personal friend of mine. Her sister in law has suffered from schizophrenia, and she has shared with me stories. She is very understanding to her and supports her. In fact, from my understanding the whole family is very supportive to her. The difficulties must take the ultimate tole, but to have support team around you is imperative to everyone. It makes me feel sad for anyone who suffers from schizophrenia and does not receive support. Outcasting any one who suffers from a mental disorder does is a selfish act and an ignorant one at that.
ReplyDeleteLaura Hays
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteThis was the sweet yet saddest post that I have read yet. I have also experience mental illness in my family and you are right, it is not a disease that just the affected suffers—the entire family suffers along with the patient. As I read your post I could envision the mother-I tell you as mothers love is priceless!
Thank you for sharing,
Tammy
What an experience for your whole family, It is sad people have to suffer from mental illness. His mother stood strong it sounds like, I cannot even imagine what your family went through with dealing with a mental illness and drug use plus HopC. I believe he wishes he could have changed himself but fought his inner self.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your kindness and support. You really touched me. Thank you so much. I miss him and wish he would've had a better life than he did. Doesn't it amaze you how widespread these kinds of problems are - just look at our class - we a just small sliver of society and mental health issues are something we all understand, from personal experience.
ReplyDeletePeace to you all,
C.